Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Blue Blazes

Continuing the tale of The Smurfs and The Palace of the Silver Princess; a classic Dungeons and Dragons Module (B3) run using the upcoming Smurfs Tabletop Roleplaying Game from Maestro Media...




One again, sorry this took so long to write and post. I've been ridiculously busy lately.

This recap comes after the fifth and final session has been played (more on that in later posts obviously). This will be in two parts as will the breakdown of Session Five. After that I will give my overall thoughts on this mini-campaign. 

If this seems like a lot happening in a single session you'd be right but Session Four was longer than any of the others by about an hour and a half. 

Session Four, Part 1

With the key to Court Magician's Sanctum in hand* our smurfy heroes made a mad dash across the Great Hall towards the entrance/exit. The group saw a large shadow move along the floor and realized the tentacled plant abomination was in pursuit, moving along the rafters on the ceiling. As they neared the wide doorway, the monster seemed to disappear into the darkness above. 

Suddenly, Honeysuckle noticed someone hurrying towards the Great Hall...a Goeblin! One of the nasty buggers they'd encountered earlier in the kitchen, he ran at the.with a fork and knife in his filthy mitts. Brash smiled and exchanged a glance with Honeysuckle who smirked back and whispered, "Follow our lead y'all."

Brash Smurf and Smurfhoneysuckle readied themselves and then, at just the right moment, pulled everyone in the party down to the ground. Above them the one-eyed horror descended from the ceiling, promptly colliding with the Goeblin. As the two of them wrestled, each trying to escape from and/or eat each other, the Smurfs run out of the room and moved as quickly as they could to the staircase heading up to the next level. 

Just before they departed in haste, Apathy looked back into the Great Hall to note; Princess Argenta, Sir Ellis the Groom Knight, and Mirabillis the Royal Mage himself were absent among the petrified wedding attendees. If the Princess and her betrothed weren't at their own Wedding...where were they?

The Smurfs passed a ghost on staircase, the haunting spirit of Branuar the Cleric, head clergyman of the Kingdom of Haven. He spoke on and on in whispered riddles but the team was able to glean some insight into what they were likely to face next. 

  • The Princess was trapped but safe. The groom was free but in the greatest danger.
  • The sword that can destroy the Eye of Arik is guarded by one who can not use it.
  • Being the hero can lead you down a dark path. Beware! 

The Smurfs continued on and found the door to the Court Wizard's room. There was no doorknob or keyhole but there was a carving of a hand where these things should be. Standing on each others shoulders to form a Smurf-ladder, Brash at the bottom and Apathy at the top, handed the key upward until Apathy hefted it a little above his head. Cornflower made the suggesting of positioning the key so the blue crystal in its was in the center of the hand carving's palm.




Catching the light from a nearby window the crystal glowed, casting a thin ray of blue light on the middle of the palm. A keyhole revealed itself in the center of the hand and Apathy carefully turned the key over and around (with the help of those below him) to insert it into the lock and *Ch-Clink* the door was opened! Cheering with excitement the Smurf ladder crumbled, leaving the party on the floor laughing out of sheer release of the fear and tension they'd been feeling. 

The door was opened to reveal what could easily be described as Smurfcornflower's dream come true. After going roughly a session and half without her Potions (which is to say, her special Advantage!)**, Cornflower was in heaven as the room was full of spell books, magical components, potions bottles, and a cauldron that was eerily still warm and steaming. Shaking with anticipation, Cornflower ran forward but was caught by Honeysuckle who gave her a finger to the lips 'Shhh' and looked around. The team proceeded slowly but Cornflower was beside herself trying to hold in her enthusiasm. 




After confirming the place was relatively safe, the group took a much needed rest and ate some Smurfberry Dry Biscuits and drank some water. Cornflower joined in but in a rush, eager to get to potion-making.  In addition, with the help of Suave and Apathy, she was able to locate a cure to dispell the Petrification Curse. Yes! 

Stephen, our GM, felt bad that I went so long without the coolest thing about my character; Smurfcornflower - the Potion Maker - had no Potions for a session and a half of our five session campaign. I assured him I wasn't bothered by this at all (See the ** note below). I loved playing Cornflower even without her 'Magic Power'. Her personality and the way she interacted with the other PCs was just so fun. However, I am pleased that Stephen decided to allow me to create 5 Potions instead of my normal 3. This is separate from/in addition to the 'Flesh to Stone' antidote. I should note that this decision was influenced by the fact that previously my multiple use Potions were all used up in one-time actions 

After a bit of 'downtime' the party of Smurfs regroups and gets ready to further explore the Palace, hoping to find the Sword of Arik (which can destroy the Eye), as well as Princess Argenta and Sir Ellis. Perhaps they could even locate Mirabillis himself, which would be really helpful as it would give them an ally who knows Magic Spells. Calling out to Cornflower to see if she was ready to go, the gang hears a vague response from the top of the table in the middle of the room. They all look up to see Smurfcornflower holding up two potions and a moment later, cackling manically. She fades off, notices everyone staring at her, and sheepishly says, "What?! I'm having fun!".




The PCs proceeded to leave the Magician's workshop and searched the second level/floor of the Palace. While looking about, they became aware of someone else moving about the corridors as well. Apathy had a hunch that it might be best to hide the key. The group wrapped the item in a swatch of cloth and Brash started carrying it on his back. 

Turning a corner, Brash and Honeysuckle came face to feet with none other than the Royal Magician himself, Master Mirabillis! Cornflower, initially somewhat behind her friends, ran up to greet the wizard, eager to speak with him. As he looked down at the little blue adventurers, the party could tell something was wrong. Then they noticed his now glowing red eyes!




"What do I behold before me? Enemies of Arik! Stay where you are so that I might turn you to stone!", the Magician cried out, his voice a mingling of malice and madness. 

"Merci mais non."*** Suave Smurf began, "We are very busy and simply can not fit it in to our schedule. Perhaps some other time?".He finished with a polite (but nervous) smile.

Unfortunately, this response only made the furious, corrupted Court Magician...well...furiouser! Mirabillis directed his Wizard's Staff towards Suave while the others scattered, not realizing he wasn't moving along with them. The Magician spoke a dark incantation in an ancient tongue, the gem at the end of his staff glowing dimly, and with a sudden WHOOSH, Suave Smurf was petrified! 

The rest of the party shouted, stamped, and then got down to business. Smurfcornflower fished one of her new potions out of her sack and said to the team, "One smurf each. No more. Got it?", in a voice as even and unwavering as she could muster. Everyone else nodded. Cornflower lightly tossed the potion - a bright and deep blue elixir with sparkles - to Brash Smurf, who took a good sip and hefted it to Smurfhoneysuckle. Honeysuckle took a gulp and handed it off to Apathy Smurf. Apathy drank the final bit of the potion and then licked his lips. The others stared at him for the longest of seconds. 

"What?", shrugged Apathy. He looked Cornflower in the eyes and smiled sheepishly. "It's tasty."

Mirabillis readied another spell but as he brought down his staff, Brash charged him, leaped up, and pulled the troublesome end of it nearly to the floor [with ease!]. Honeysuckle followed by bouncing off Brash's shoulders and running up the length of the rod until she jumped off and kicked the clasp of the Magician's cape. The thick blue cloth came loose and fell about Mirabillis' feet. Apathy was next, yanking the cloak and toppling Mirabillis onto his back, completely prone. Apathy was astonished that had worked.  

The next few moments were a rapid back and forth, with Mirabillis casting balls of fire and curses of Petrification, eventually turning Apathy and Brash to stone and singeing Honeysuckle pretty badly. Cornflower kept trying to cast the counterspell but had to stop to dodge the Magician's attacks and miscast it once.****

Finally, Smurfcornflower executed the reversal spell perfectly (with Effort, a Smurfberry, and Smurf Power!) and the rest of the party were stored to normal (except Honeysuckle who was still injured of course). 

Suave let out a loud exhale as if he'd been holding his breathe the entire time he spent petrified. He then breathed back in deeply and shouted, "Brash, Blow The Whistle!". Brash had all but forgotten that he was carrying a Protector's Whistle and proceeded to blow into it with all he could muster. Somehow distant and deafening, like a hurricane wind outside while you're safe in your home, the Whistle sounded like it was echoing from everywhere at once.

An aura of red flames flared around Mirabillis, his crimson eyes glowing more intensely. At first weakly and in small quantities but increasing steadily the flames began to flicker green instead of red. Once all the flames turned green a fee shifted and become blue! More and more Mirabillis became wreathed in blue fire. 

"What in Blue Blazes?!", shouted a stunned Honeysuckle. 

The azure conflagration flared so brightly the party had to cover their eyes for a moment. When it passed, the Court Magician was found sitting on the stone floor of the corridor blinking and bewildered. As he slowly got to his feet, the Smurfs readied themselves for...well...for anything.




It quickly became apparent that something had changed about Master Mirabillis. First and foremost, his eyes looked normal and were clearly no longer glowing red. His demeanor was calm and thoughtful, not aggressive as he had been just minutes ago. He spoke quietly, his voice a bit shakey, "I...I am free. No longer am I trapped in my own mind. Who...Smurfs? Are you really Smurfs? There haven't been Smurfs in Haven in a hundred years."

"Master Mirabillis, Royal Magician of the Kingdom of Haven, we are indeed Smurfs. Summoned by the Green Fairy Protectors of Haven, here on behalf of Papa Smurf, we have come to aid in freeing your nation", said Suave Smurf in his most polite and proper manner. "It seems someone left clues and a hidden key to your sanctum in hopes that they could be used to help in this regard. Furthermore, we surmise that person might well have been you."

The Court Magician smiled a tight but honest smile. "You are both clever and correct my little blue friends. Perhaps we actually have a chance of saving Haven."

To be continued...

AD
Barking Alien

*By having the Magic Key 'in hand' I actually meaning lugged around on Brash's back or carried by two Smurfs at a time. This was a Human-sized metal key. It was kind of heavy for us Smurfs.

**Remember that I, that is to say my character Smurfcornflower, spent a quarter of one session, all of the next, a little of the one that followed without Potions - her unique special ability. Her Smurf Advantage, a decrease of difficulty when creating or identifying Potions, barely applied to anything during this time. 

From what I've encountered over the past 15+ years, this would have driven the average player mad. Imagine having a D&D Wizard PC who used up all his Spells for the day in one session and the next session and a half took place on the same day. A Wizard with no Spells for about 6-7 hours  [or so] of game time. The player of that Wizard PC would have flipped, right? They'd be furious! 

Not me. Nope. See, without my special power/weapon I had to get creative, be entertaining, engage in role-play, and show that creating and using Potions is a cool thing Cornflower can do but it isn't what makes her cool. 

I could easily see players complaining there was nothing their character could do or nothing for them to do. Some might even say 'the GM didn't give me anything for my character to do'. That is so mentally lazy and creatively empty that it always makes me nuts when people say anything like that.

There is ALWAYS something you can do. You can talk, make a joke, distract, use props in your environment, use the terrain itself, etc. You can contribute. You can make it fun for you and others. Don't be that person. 

***Merci mais non translates in English to 'Thank you but no'. 

****Cornflower is an Alchemist, a Potion-Maker, not a Witch, Wizard, or Magician of any kind. She doesn't have any gift or training at casting Spells. Both I and Stephen (the GM) played into this idea, making casting the anti-Petrification magic quite difficult.





Monday, April 14, 2025

Tangled Up in Blue

Session Three




After escaping from the Kitchen and a quartet of glutenous Goeblins, our party of Smurfs ran down the hall and found refuge in the castle Library.

The Library was a temple to the written word (according to Suave Smurf), with hundreds of books of all sizes on a dozen or so shelves. There were a good number of tomes scattered across the floor, as if someone had been looking for a particular book in a hurry, but otherwise the room was in remarkably good condition. Apathy Smurf suggested that for the most part the current inhabitants didn't appear to be the 'intellectual' type.

Smurfcornflower was in heaven and asserted that the team was exactly where they needed to be. Somewhere in this room were the answers to the riddles they needed to unravel in order to free the Silver Palace from the curse of the Eye of Arik. She was sure of it. 

The sequence was vital to the adventure but doesn't really make for an interesting recap. Yes, there was some role-playing and fun banter but I'm going to sum up what they discovered so I can move this 'replay' to the really good parts. Cool? Thanks.




After searching the Library and reading through various texts, the Smurfs found some vitally useful information:

Banquets of The Silver Palace, a combination history book and cookbook*, had a note slipped into it that mentioned a hidden panel in the Great Dining Hall that held a key to the Court Magician's Laboratory and Workshop. 

In The Giants of Haven they learned more about Arik the Vile, including a possible means of destroying the Eye. There was a Sword the Arik made from the same ruby gemstone as the Eye and if the two made contact with each other both would turn to dust (Evil overload?). It is also noted that the sound of merry music irritated Arik and weakened his power. 

Finally, they found what appeared to be a wedding invitation along with a booklet that let wedding guests know who was who and a little about the ceremony. We jokingly called this the Wedding Playbill. It gave more background on the groom, Sir Ellis of the Knights of The White Drakes, and a few key members of the Royal Court**:

Branaur, The Chief Clergyman
Catharmandamus, The Royal Chamberlain
Mirabillis, The Court Magician
Sir Tom, The Captain of the Silver Palace Guard

Finally, Rowena, 'Rose from the Northwest Sea', had been hired to entertain the guests in the form of music and song. 

"Great, now what? What's our next smurf?", asked Brash, excited to be anywhere that didn't involve breathing in dust and doing a lot of reading.

Suave rubbed his chin and said, "The Great Hall seems the obvious destination. The key hidden there would be most smurfy if we wish to enter the Court Magician's sanctum." He then turned to look at Cornflower with a charming smile, "Which is something I assume we want to do." Cornflower smiled and nodded vigorously. Apathy rolled his eyes but with a slight grin.

Brash Smurf and Smurfhoneysuckle left the Library to do some scouting, avoiding the sight of the Goeblins who were still searching for the Smurfs. Luckily, they were far down the hall and the Smurf duo had time to look around. They found a storeroom, empty guard posts and barracks, and of course the smaller Dining Room across from the Library. Hmm. Where were all the inhabitants of the castle? They've supposedly been trapped in this palace for a decade but were nowhere to found?

Reuniting all together, the Smurf party proceeded to head down the length of the long hall to the Great Hall, which was decorated with blue, red, and silver in honor of Princess Argenta and Sir Ellis's wedding. And there they were...




The entire Great Hall was filled with stone statues; life-like, sculptured effigies of men and woman, the old and the young, and even a half dozen hounds. There were nobles and commoners, merchants and knights, four Dwarfs, and a woman with a fancy hat carrying a gittern***.

Apathy Smurf nodded at her, "Rowena? The bard we read about?"

"Indeed", said Suave quietly, as if his voice might disturb the statues. "How horrid? Who or what could have done this?"

"Dark Magic...that's for sure", Smurfcornflower said, matching Suave's volume but with her voice a tad shakey. 

That was when a large shadow moved on the far side of the [very large] room. Honeysuckle and Brash started heading in the direction of the movement immediately, motioning the others to follow. When they reached the area they found a table surrounded by chairs all rather small for the average Human. Hmm. The average adult Human that is. This table had likely been set up for children.  

The Smurfs looked all about the table for what had created the shadow they'd seen. They walked under it, climbed up onto it, searched around the chairs, everything. Confused and unsure if they were indeed alone in the huge chamber (dozens upon dozens of petrified party guests aside), they started to discuss where the hidden panel might be based on the clues in the note they'd found. That's when the shadow reappeared, casting darkness down upon them from above. The thing...whatever it was...had been hiding in the corner of the ceiling. 




A monstrous ball of plant matter and tentacles with a single, massive, emerald eye, the nightmarish thing descended and immediately reached for the Smurfs, drooling and letting out a gurgling growl.

Honeysuckle and Suave were grabbed and pulled high above the others, the creature seeming to chuckle at its fortune. The other Smurfs were stunned for a moment, almost frozen in fear, before shaking themselves and each other out of their initial panic. Brash grabbed a fork and moved towards the monster. Cornflower saw a goblet of fermented pear juice and had an idea. Apathy...wait, where did Apathy go?

Dodging and weaving his way across the small table, Apathy found a hiding spot underneath a cloth napkin. He locked eyes with the others and gave them a nod. They nodded back and that was his que...to suggest to the GM he cut back to the other PCs (although he did say, "Good, they know what to do" first).****.

Suave Smurf and Smurfhoneysuckle struggled to free themselves from the grip of the monster's tentacles to no avail. As a response to their attempts, the horrid thing squeezed Honeysuckle to crush her but she managed to resist with all her smurfy strength! The creature tossed Suave away and he sailed through the air, eventually landing hard...well hard-ish...on decade old stale Wedding Cake. He was hurt but managed to stay conscious. 

Apathy saw that and sprung into action; he sneaked out from underneath his napkin cover only to stand in plain view of the beast's massive eye. It gave another of its wet, throaty laughs and advanced towards him. Apathy stared back at it but was otherwise motionless. The monster let out a gargled roar at Apathy and the little Smurf just rolled his eyes. Confused, perhaps even doubting its own horrifying-ness, the tenacled terror pulled itself up and away a bit. Apathy seemed to be looking at his fingernails. 

This was more than the monster could stand! It let out another moist bellow, its mouth wide as it lunged towards Apathy, when suddenly - GULP! - the atrocity found it had swallowed...something. Something foul. It didn't feel well. Not well at all. The creature's foliage went pale. It tried and failed to hold in a massive belch. Finally, looking much worse for wear, the thing's tongue lolled out as it panted, seeming like it might pass out at any moment.

Apathy Smurf gave Smurfcornflower a thumbs up and she returned it with a goofy smile. As it turned out, throwing a ten year old piece of bread soaked in equally old and spoiled pear juice into ones mouth is a very effective way of making them dreadfully ill. Cornflower looked over to Brash Smurf and gave him a thumbs up.

Brash nodded and called out to Smurfhoneysuckle yelling, "Honeysuckle! Catch!" Throwing a silver fork like a javelin, the utensil sailed towards Smurfhoneysuckle who caught it, spun it around, and then threw it into the monster's open maw. The abhorrent bush recoiled backwards, hitting the wall. The sound of a stone coming loose was noticed by Cornflower. The beast let out a pained, raspy shriek, dropped Honeysuckle to the table below, and retreated up into the rafters.

After freeing Suave Smurf from the long expired cake, the party regrouped and headed to the ground where Cornflower had heard the loosened stone. After a moment or two, the group was able to find the hidden panel in the wall that held a strangle looking key. A note attached said, 'For The Court Magician's - Upstairs One Level - First Room on the Left.' The Smurfs decided that someone had purposely left the note in the Library, as well as this one, in hopes that someone would find it and somehow use the key to aid Haven in its plight. 




But who? And how? 

Well my dear Smurfs...keep reading, 

AD
Barking Alien

*Yet another Tasting History reference/Easter Egg perhaps? lol

**I will cover some of the changes to the original module this adventure is based on at the very end of the campaign but I wanted to take a moment to note some of the alterations the GM/Stephen made to the major NPCs. 

The module has a Chief Cleric and a Cleric who worships Arik. There is a Royal Magic-User and a Royal Alchemist. Stephen combined a lot of these characters or changed their jobs to make everything flow more quickly and smoothly.

***A Gittern is a type of Medieval stringed instrument popular in France and Spain that is believed to be a direct precursor of the guitar.

****At no point was a plan discussed. While Andrew implied there was a plan and acted like there was a plan, there was no plan between Andrew, Brandon, and myself. In our 'After Action Report' discussion Andrew gave us some incredible insight into this scene. 

Paraphrased from Andrew's words: "When Stephen (the GM) told us we were frozen in fear for a moment and then we snapped out of it, I was still very much frozen. My brain locked up and I could not think of what to do next. Stephen then asked Brandon, "What does Brash do?" and Brandon has something. He has Brash take an action. Then he goes to Adam and yeah, Adam has something. I know I'm next and I know I've got nothing. What can Apathy contribute to this?

Then it hit me. He can facilitate the actions of those who DO have ideas. So I acted like I had a big plan but really all I wanted to do was stall or distract the monster so Brash and Cornflower could do something cool."

Now THAT is a truly brilliant RPG player




Saturday, April 12, 2025

Cry Blue Murder

More Smurf adventuring? You bet your smurf!




Sorry for the delay. I have some difficulty creating or finding images I liked. I just can't put up a post with no art when the game is about something based on an Animated Series or a Comic Book.

The first half of Session Two contained a lot of exposition, problem-solving, and role-play and I want to make it clear we had a lot of fun with it. In addition, it moved a lot faster than it may have seemed in my previous post. I felt the need to explain some of the details that we in-game kind of took for granted or got through osmosis. I hope I didn't over do it. If the prior post didn't bore you too much and you're sticking with me, thanks. I promise that this half of the session is waaay more action packed. 

Once again, thanks for putting up with my style of recap. Anyway...

Season Two, Part 2:

Our Smurf party had made it into the Palace of the Silver Princess thanks to the mystic powers of the Whistles of the Protectors of Haven (an idea that Suave first came up with). Entering invisibly thanks to one of Smurfcornflower's potions, the effect was fading and the group of Smurfs were quickly becoming visible. We begin the session with the team hiding inside a wooden Guard Post located just inside the the castle's front gate. Skeletons dressed in the armor and tunics of Haven Soldiers walked the halls adjacent to the entry way. 




As soon as the invisibility wore off completely and the Smurfs could see each other, Brash and Smurfhoneysuckle peaked out to check for Skeletons and which direction to go in next. They determined that the hall heading Northwest was their best chance. They took off, Brash in the lead and Honeysuckle in the rear.

Nonetheless, the Smurfs came across and had to avoid two Zombie-like undead warriors and one Skeleton. They recognized rooms further down the hall as likely to be a pantry and kitchen and so they dashed for them and ducked in to catch their breath. After a few moments, they looked around to see if there was anything useful they could use. Honeysuckle and Cornflower noted that if this castle has been trapped like this for a decade, any food in the pantry had long gone bad. Just as the others nodded in agreement, a plate fell from the counter above them spilling chunks of old cheese, slimy ham, and stale bread. 




The group looked up to notice Goeblins! There were two of them, rumaging through cabinets and boxes, drinking from jugs of wine, and eating food they must have found or foraged. The Smurfs - quietly and carefully - grabbed what they could and prepared to leave when suddenly...another Goeblin came around the counter and tried to stab Apathy with a fork! Yikes! There are three of them?!

Brash grabbed a Meat Tenderizer he found on the floor, though he could barely lift it. Honeysuckle came over to help him. Sort of. Great interaction of the two of them humorously competing/cooperating to be the 'lead' on smashing one of the Goeblins. The Goeblin in question quickly scooped both of them up in a bowl of gruel porridge. The two Smurfs fell over into the thick, cream broth and...didn't come back up. The Goeblin was perplexed, squinted, and moved his face closer and closer to the bowl until - BLOSH! - the Smurfs popped out of the gruel, thrusting the Tenderizer forward and bashing their opponent right between the eyes. The Goeblin dropped the bowl, spilling two porridge covered Smurfs onto the countertop.  

Apathy reached out his hand towards Cornflower, who just looked at it, then at his face, and said, "What?" Apathy, in his bored and bothered manner asked her for a potion and she informed him she was fresh out. The Invisibility Potion was the last of her concoctions. Apathy made an, 'Of course' expression.  The two of them noticed a shadow looming over them and turned to see another Goeblin coming at them with a frying pan.




Four?!? Yes! There were four Goeblins in total. How did the Smurfs not notice that? As it turned out, the Goeblins have a special Advantage of their own called Sneaky. If the GM spends a Thorn, a Goeblin can appear or disappear into the shadows or behind things in order to escape or surprise enemies. Remember all that Smurf Power the PCs used in Season One, Part 2? Well that gave Stephen at least two Thorns. He spent them here to have two extra Goeblins come out from their hidden hidey holes. 

Back to the action...

The frying pan came down on the two Smurfs and they did their best to scatter. The horrible sound of metal-on-Smurf-on-stone caused Cornflower to spin around, shouting as she saw the fairly flattened form of Apathy. "Get away from him you Monster!", Cornfower called at with both anger and fear in her voice. Swinging the frying pan again, this time like a tennis ratchet, the Goeblin sent Cornflower flying through the air. She landed in the Pantry atop a bag of flour. Badly hurt and trying hard to stay conscious, she noticed a shelf above her with numerous spice and jars of herbs. Fighting her aches and pains, Cornflower climbed up onto the shelf as the Goeblin creeped towards her. 

The remaining Goeblin caught Suave, lifted him into the air and then tossed him onto a plate. He landed softly [for the most part] in a pile of mashed up small potatoes and bit of spoiled butter. The Goeblin leaned over him with a fork and knife, licking its lips. Suave Smurf's eyes darted about, landing on a fancy bottle. "Red wine? With Smurf?! Oh no, no, no. That simply won't do. Are you a culinary barbarian?" The Goeblin was completely dumbfounded. He put down his fork, took the bottle in hand and gave it a swig.

"Ez good wine. Wat you know?", asked the Goeblin.

"It's not the vintage Mon Ami, its the type of wine. Of course its good but Smurf pairs better with something lighter or perhaps a rosé. Yes! A rosé. And these potatoes? Garlic, a bit of black pepper, and a dash more salt and Mwah! Magnifique!". As Suave Smurf went on the Goeblin was practically drooling. It wiped its mouth, nodded enthusiastically and reached for the salt and pepper, garlic, a grater, and then turned around to search for a bottle of rosé. Suave meanwhile hurriedly assembled a fork, a spoon, and the pepper container just so. 

"Ah-ha!", exclaimed the Goeblin with excitement. He turned back towards Suave with a wine bottle in hand. Suave Smurf then proceeded to jump on the prong end of the fork, launching the pepper into the air - spending a Brawn Effort and Smurf Power - and sending the pepper right into the Goeblin's face. The nasty cretin proceeded to sneeze uncontrollably, dropping the bottle of and allowing Suave to get some distance. 

Brash and Honeysuckle got up and made a break for the opposite side of the counter table, catching up with Suave and finding themselves between a rock and hard place, as well as quite high above the floor. Suave had an idea and pointed to ragged cloth napkins. A whispered plan and both Honeysuckle and Brash grabbed one each. Suave leapt onto Brash's back ("My apologies. So undignified!") and after a few spent Efforts and Smurfberries the three Smurfs 'parachuted' off the countertop, angling back towards the door to the kitchen (the door they used to enter this room). Mere inches from escaping into the hallway, the three heroes turned around to look for their friends.

Apathy was behind them, running towards the Goeblin with the frying plan, who was himself heading to the pantry to squash Cornflower no doubt. As the loathsome thing stuck its head through the doorway, Apathy lept up on the Goeblin's trouser leg and started crawling up the creature. The Goeblin was distracted only for a moment, as suddenly something sprayed from out of the pantry and the bogey dropped the frying pan and yelped in pain. It rubbed its tearing eyes to no avail and Apathy took advantage of the creature's misfortune. He pulled the cretin's hat down over its eyes and than slide down the Goeblin's coat. Leaping off to the ground, he rushed to the pantry where Cornflower had herself slide down the aforementioned bag of flour. 

"What was that?", asked Apathy as he watched the Goeblin flail around and whine in agony.

"I call it Pepper Spray! (It had black pepper, dried spicy peppers, onion powder, and vinegar)", replied Smurfcornflower, too proud of herself to think about how terrified she was. 

"Nice", Apathy started, "I was...worried. I was worried about...*throat clear*...about you." He said this last part looking directly into Cornflower's eyes and she darked a much darker shade of blue. Her mouth hung open for a moment, completely flabbergasted, and it only then occurred to her that Apathy had basically admitted to caring about something. Someone! Wait..gulp...me?

"HEY! You two! Come on!", Honeysuckle called out, waving the pair over. Apathy took Cornflower by her suddenly cold and sweaty palm and the two ran to join their friends. As the Goeblins cried, sneezed, tripped, and bumped into each other in the background, the Smurfs ran out into the hall and raced to find another open door. There was a large dining room on the right and what seemed to be a library to the left. "Library!", Cornflower called out, pointing at the room. Everybody double-smurfed it to the door, squeezed through the thin space, and then leaned on the inside of the door to close it behind them. 

As the team tried to catch their breath, their eyes darted about the huge room and its seemingly endless collection of books.  "Oh my Smurf!", said a panting Cornflower, "I think we're right where we need to be..."

To be continued,

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Barking Alien