Thursday, December 25, 2025

The Nightmare Before Smurfmas! - Part I

A Merry Smurfmas and Smurfy Holidays My Smurfs! 




Although there isn't any snow on the ground where I am, it definitely feels like the holidays. New York City has decorations everywhere, with trees large and small covered in all manner of lights. The fancy stores along 5th Avenue have their amazing holiday display windows up and everyone is in a joyous rush to get home to their loved ones.

Now, it's Christmas Day!

Oh what a smurfy time of year! 

What better way to close out the year* than with a Smurfs TRPG one-shot that is also holiday themed? None I dare say! Especially in the case of last weekend's great game of The Smurfs Roleplaying Game, run with a mix of old friends and new, as I got the chance to be 'Storyteller Smurf' for Andy, Brandon, Heather, and Stephen, all formerly part of The Smurfs and The Palace of the Silver Princess. Stephen was the Storyteller for that, as well as for the one-shot The Smurfs and The Bluebird of Happiness. I was very excited [and honestly a bit intimidated] to be on the other side of the table for such a talented Smurfs GM.

Unfortunately, RenĂ© (Suave Smurf) couldn't join us (we couldn't get a hold of him) but we did have the addition of Julia, a friend of Heather's, who gave us a much needed additional Smurf Girl of Smurfy Grove (since my own Smurfcornflower wouldn't be there). She and Stephen established a very different dynamic between this group and our last big outing even though four of the participants (and three of the Player Characters) were the same. 

Our group of Smurfs was therefore Smurfamaryllis, Apathy Smurf, Brash Smurf, Gamer Smurf, and Smurfhoneysuckle.


Smurfamaryllis (Julia)                  and              Gamer Smurf (Stephen)


Without further adeu, here is Part I of my recap of The Nightmare Before Smurfmas!

Snow is falling, the trees are decorated, and Baker Smurf is making his annual Chocolate and Smurfberry Yule Log Cake - Yes Smurf Boys and Girls, it's almost Smurfmas!** As Smurf Village and Smurfy Grove plan one smurf of a holiday party together, something strange lurks in the woods between the two hidden places. Azrael! Gargamel's nasty ol' cat seems to be searching for the Smurfs but Gargamel himself is nowhere to be seen. Hmm. It could be a trap! 

A group of Smurfs, Boys and Girls alike, volunteer to investigate. Well...sort of. Smurfamaryllis, Brash Smurf, and Smurfhoneysuckle volunteer and basically drag Apathy and Gamer along. What they discover is quite odd. Azrael seems pretty roughed up and eventually falls exhausted in the snow, whimpering softly.

While Apathy and Brash are not sure if they should go help him - I mean, he has tried to smurf many a Smurf over the years - Honeysuckle is already out there checking on the cat (Honeysuckle is a farmer and really cares about animals). Amaryllis tags along.

Gamer plays a quick Riddle/Guessing Game with the other boys. If he wins, they help Azrael. If they win, he'll follow their lead. Gamer wins! The entire group takes Azrael back to the edge of Smurfy Grove and calls on Smurfwillow's help. The wise older Female Smurf gives the cat some medicine and it begins to meow frantically! They are able to determine that Gargamel is in trouble! Something about a Magic Spell and some kind of Monster! Great Smurfs!

While Azrael rests and heals, Smurfwillow sends a message to Papa Smurf letting him know the group is headed to Gargamel's hovel/castle to investigate further. The group grabs their favored gear and receives some holiday treats before heading Northeast.

The trip is not an easy one. The region is covered in deep snow (if you're three apples tall that is) and there is a lot of slippery ice. Branches have fallen from trees and the wind wickedly whips westward. There is also the matter of the Smurfs themselves, who smurfed each other the wrong way at every turn.

Smurfamaryllis needed to be the center of attention and kept trying to get the others to watch what she's doing. Apathy, well he's Apathy and couldn't have cared less, which just made Amaryllis try harder. The long standing competition/rivalry between Brash and Honeysuckle was friendly (flirty?) and good-natured but that took their focus away from Amaryllis and she didn't like that. She might also have been a little sweet on Brash. Gamer keeps wanting to make it all a game, which proves annoying to the others and potentially dangerous near ponds of thin ice.***

Eventually, Apathy took up the role of leader and got the party to get its smurf together. They decided to make a brief camp, warm up with some Smurfberry Leaf Tea and Smurfberry Biscuits, and smurf out their differences. After some heartfelt and humorous dialogue, Honeysuckle notices a light not too far away. She points it out to the others, believing it to be another campfire. The group gets up to take a closer look but can only see the shadows of small people.

After dowsing their fire, the party walks over to see a dozen or so (Thirteen to be exact) small, wizened elf-like beings gathered around their own campfire. One member of the group invites the Smurfs over to have a bowl of their soup, which the PCs suddenly notice is cooking over the little trolls' flame. Was that there a second ago? Amaryllis bows and says she would be honored to try their soup! After all, "I am well known as a Great Taster of Soups back in Smurfy Grove!", she exclaims. The little men laugh and slap their knees and each others backs. 




"Smurfs you say? Well, *chuckle* splendid, splendid! We, my brothers and I, are the Yule Lads. Here you are lovely Smurf", said one of the 'handsome goblins'**** as he handed her a bowl and a spoon. Smurfamaryllis loved the attention and praise and gladly took the gift of food. She scooped up a spoonful of thick broth and potato chunks and downed it in one gulp. She then spewed it out, coughing and making just the most contorted of faces.

"What the smurf? What's wrong Amaryllis?", shouted Honeysuckle, her hands balling into fists.
"It's sour and spoiled. Like it went bad long ago! Yuck! Awful! But it looked and smelled so good", replied Amaryllis, trying to use her scarf to wipe the taste off her tongue.

All 13 Yule Lads roared with laughter. "Oldest trick we have and still one of the best", said one. "The look on her silly face!" barked another. "That's what you get for boasting", snapped a third, his face more serious than his kin. 

"Let's just be on our way...", Gamer began to say but it was too late. He was traveling with Brash Smurf and Brash Smurf tended to be rather...well...Brash. Leaping forward, his hands wrapped in his signature red cape, Brash grabbed the handles of the soup pot and threw the entirety of it at the Yule Lads. Not to be outdone ('cause isn't that her way), Honeysuckle followed up by smurfing the lid of the pot at them discus (frisbee) style. Amaryllis smurfed the Yule Lad who had handed her the rotten potato soup with her baton (stick) with a rattling 'thok!'

"And take that!", she exclaimed!

The Yule Lads erupted in yelps, shouts, and at least two in a loud 'BONG!' as the pot lid struck them. Suddenly the Smurfs were surrounded by the mischevious bunch, all attempting to trick, trip, pull, push, or steal something from the group. The team fought back in various very clever ways, from Amaryllis drawing their attention so Brash could send them rolling down the hill, to Gamer distracting them with a game of dice while Honeysuckle shook a bush that buried a few Yule Lads in falling snow.

Finally as the tricky, troublemaking trolls looked like they were on the outs, one of the Yule Lads stood tall with a burning stick in his hand, laughing hysterically yet furiously as he approached the Smurfs.Most were taken aback, quite intimidated or at least wary of the threat. Apathy gently pushed passed his friends and stood right in from of the fellow, classic nonplussed***** look of calm disinterest on his face. 

"Yes?", Apathy said in a bored monotone. "You have something to say?"

The Yule Lad leered at Apathy for a long moment. Then looked confused for nearly as long. Then he shut his mouth and stepped back. Apathy, face completely unchanged, took a slow and very deliberate step forward. The Yule Lad gulped, put out his torch in the snow, and grinned sheepishly. "Heh, just a bit of fun ol' nut? No real harm or foul, right? We'll be about our business and you the same."

"Not so fast!", said Honeysuckle in a deep, rough-sounding drawl, right hand clenched in a fist, "What are y'all doing here? You know what's going on up at the castle don't ya?" 

The Yule Lads began to mutter and whisper among themselves, most of the conversations ending in shrugs and head scratching. The one who'd been threatening the Smurfs a mere moment ago said, "We were doing nothing of note 'til you came along. Our Master told us to waylay any who'd come to the aid of the old malcontent up there in ruined keep. A true misanthrope if ever there was one! Who'd come to help such a churl, I mean really?"

The Smurfs all looked at each other, their feelings and thoughts twisting in knotts. Gargamel.

"Who is your Master..." Gamer Smurf began, but the Yule Lads were gone. There was no fire, no evidence they'd ever been there. Wait...that wasn't quite accurate. On a log the wee cretins had previous been sitting on when the Smurfs first met them, Gamer found a small package in a bright green box tied with a red bow. A present? He showed it to the others and they suggested he hold on to it for the time being.

With that, off they went to Gargamel's...




So ends Part I of our Yule Tide Tale! Stay tuned for more after these messages...

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Barking Alien

*This game was not necessarily the last one of the year but it was holiday themed, it was Smurfs, and it just felt like if I had to make this one good just in case I don't get to play again this year. I know, I know. I do it to myself.

**Smurfmas isn't so much Christmas but more the Pagan Yule Tide holidays of pre-Christian France and Belgium mixed with a few more Christmas-y trappings. I always imagine the Smurfs are some sort of Forest Spirits or Fae so it kind of makes sense.

***This group of Player Character Smurfs featured a lot more interpersonal friction than any of my previous Smurf parties thus far. This was absolutely the intention. Discussed right before the start of the game, Julia wanted to play a character that leaned in the direction of Brainy being a Smart Alec, Hefty being Bull-Headed, Baker Being Greedy (at least on the Cartoon), and the like. This doesn't mean Brainy isn't smart, Hefty isn't strong, or that Baker isn't a skilled, er, baker. She just wanted to lean into Smurfamaryllis' flaws, not her Advantage. 

We talked about it to insure that the group understood issues might arise among the PCs but that had nothing to do with the players. More specifically, Julia wanted to make sure her idea didn't harsh everyone else's mellow. Everyone was cool with her character being trying sometimes and how that dynamic could generate a lot of humor and interpersonal moments. 

Stephen leaned into a similar idea but to a lesser extent. 

****Before letting the players and PCs know they were dealing the Icelandic Folklore beings known as 'The Yule Lads' I danced around the name with various descriptions of faerie beings like pre-Tolkien elves, brownies, lutins, and other such creatures. Julia offhandedly called them 'handsome goblins' at one point and, I don't know if it was the phrase or how she said it, but it struck me as really funny at the time. 

*****Nonplussed is such a great word. It is a contranym; a word with two opposite meanings. Nonplussed can mean surprised and confused, often beyond the ability to react or completely unphased, not peturbed at all.

Sorry this is so long. And that it's a Part I. I really thought I could summarize the session more concisely but like a great stocking over the fireplace on Xmas, this session was stuffed full of neat things. 




Sunday, December 21, 2025

Cartoon Logic

I recently received news that an old favorite RPG will be returning with a new edition and you ain't gonna believe what it is...unless you lily livered varmints already heard about this...then...Heavens to Murgatroyd! We gotta get outta here Scoob! Good grief!

What the heck was I talkin' about? Oh yeah...




That's right Toon! It's Toon: Second Edition! Did I mention Toon? I think I did but honestly I'm so excited I'm not really listening to what I'm saying. 

The classic Tabletop RPG of falling anvils and fast-talking rabbits is making a comeback from none other than Steve Jackson Games. It is currently crowd-funding its way to a Saturday afternoon near you by way of Backerlit. I pledged for sure and it seems I'm not alone. Right now its already passed its goal, with over 1800 backers and 25 days still to go.

Oh man oh mouse, I would love to run this game again. I ran some really great campaigns with Toon, all a little on the twisted side if I'm being honest. There was BLEEP! The SPACE GUARDIAN, The Boys of Cellgate, and of course one of the greatest games I've ever run of anything, Zoonatics (which appears as a campaign idea/suggestion in my own game The Googly Eyed Primetime Puppet Show RPG - definitely gotta write this campaign up next year). 

Between this and the Smurfs RPG, I'm going to be hard pressed to get serious with my gaming next year. Get it? 'Get serious', huh, huh? HA! I kill me. 

Honestly, I couldn't look forward to 2026 anymore if my favorite TV show of all time were announced to be making a possible return. You know, like if they said they were doing a TV or Streaming special in hopes it would be picked up for an ongoing series. Possibly to celebrate the show's 50th anniversary or something.

Hmm? What's that?




Holy...

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Barking Alien




31 Questions For Barking Alien - Phase II - Question 13

This will be my last question for the year. Largely because I just didn't receive any more.

That's OK though. I'm cool with it. I have a number of things I want to talk about before the year ends and I'm working on a special project or two that could certainly use some time and attention. 

With that, I'm happy to have received this question in particular because it relates to something I've done very successfully several times but haven't talked about very much.

Question (Lucky) #13 comes from my pal Nick again...

Do you have any thoughts on GMing for only a single player and how it differentiates from GMing for a more typical multi-player group?

I have run what I refer to as 'One-on-One' campaigns, games involving a Gamemaster and a Single Player, quite a few times over the years. Some of them lasted a decently long time. Among the most memorable ones were a Dungeons & Dragons 3E (Modified and Houseruled) with my ex-wife Selina, two separate classic Traveller campaigns (the 2nd of which lasted almost 3 years of nearly daily play) also with Selina, and a FASA Star Trek game with my friend David Concepcion. The late, great Dave Cotton and I had a One-on-One campaign of sorts, although it was more like a series of six One-on-One adventure sessions united by the same character and setting but split across a two year period. 

To me, the essence of Tabletop Roleplaying Games is the dynamic between the player or players and the Gamemaster. In this relationship, I tend to default to thinking like and being the GM. However, I have also been a GM who focuses on the players' fun. As I said to a friend and player of mine recently, "[At the most basic level] I am going to have fun as the GM regardless, so my goal to make sure all the players have a good time."

Let's be honest, [as the GM] I am getting to do what I love doing. I'm world-building, following established and emerging narratives, getting to create and portray NPCs, etc. That's just what the GM does and that's why I enjoy doing. Any real effort on my part is in making sure everyone participating is having as much fun as I am. Unless of course I am not having fun. It certainly happens. Some flaw in the way I've set things up, the players not liking what I'm dishing out definitely occurs from time to time. My approach to the next attempt remains pretty much the same, focus on the players fun as mine is just going to come naturally if [mostly] everything lands.

With a single player and GM situation, this is easier to accomplish. If you really get that one person and they get you, the rest is a piece of cake. You know that if you two are generally on the same page, things will move a lot more smoothly. That said, One-on-One games do come with their own challenges. The most notable of which is that, depending on how you prep and execute your games, it can be a lot of work for the Gamemaster. You aren't just the NPCs, the World, and the arbitrator of the rules...you're Everything and Everybody. 

Normally there would be other Player Character's interacting with what is now the singular 'main character' and that doesn't just mean banter and conversation. The lone PC only has certain skills and abilities and if you want them to be able to go on traditional adventures, they are going to need a team to go with them. The GM is no longer just the NPCs the Party meets, the GM is the Party! And those they meet. And everything else a GM always is. 

Not going to lie, that can be alot, even for someone like me who thrives on that kind of thing. Is it worth it? I believe it is. I believe it SOOO is. Seriously, some of my best games have been One-on-One and here's the twist; I've had a number of One-on-One campaigns turn into regular ones. With David Concepcion's Star Trek: Renown campaign, people would overhear us playing, if not straight up listen in, and ask if they could join. A few of my Winghorn Guard/Aerth/D&D-But-Not games went this way as well. 

All in all, I think its a wonderful endeavor but you've got to prepare yourself. It can be tricky and it can wear you out but based on my own experiences, One-on-One games can really be great fun.

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Barking Alien




Saturday, December 20, 2025

31 Questions For Barking Alien - Phase II - Question 12

This question comes from a recent conversation with my friend Stephen about TRPGs with simple, binary 'Pass/Fail' systems versus those that allow for 'Yes and...', 'No but...', and/or other possible outcomes. It wasn't so much a question he asked as much as one we both asked each other.

You might remember Stephen as the Storyteller, or Storyteller Smurf, of our 'The Smurfs and The Palace of The Silver Princess' mini-campaign/adventure, as well as the one-shot 'The Smurfs and The Bluebird of Happiness'.

Question #12 amounts to...

How do you feel about the increasing use of 'Failing Forward' or 'Success at a Cost' mechanics?

I've never liked the Pass/Fail die mechanic. Sure, there was a time when that's all there was but one of the earliest houserules I can recall making was related to the idea of degrees of success and failure.

It was in 1982 or 83 when I started adding a little more to the results of the percentile Skill Rolls of FASA's Star Trek RPG. If a PC had a 54% chance of determining what that strange signal was that the ship just detected and she rolled a 57, I would her a little something.
57 is damn close to 54 considering the 1-100 range of possible outcomes. As such, I [as GM] would say she failed to figure out what the signal was all about but it's seems to be coming from the fourth planet in the Star system. 

If you needed a 54 and got a 94, I would say you not only know it's short and repeating like an SOS but the signal seems to be getting weaker! If an 01 is a Critical Success and a 100 is a Critical Failure, then an 02 or a 99 has gotta mean something! Right?
Another thing I did in some games with traditional binary results was give the rolls a little garnish depending on how the player approached the situation. If the Fighter says, "I swing my sword", and misses on the To-Hit Roll, then all that happens is he misses.
On the other hand, If he describes the twist he does to strike his enemy and misses, well, I might have the NPC unnerved (-1 to its next attack on the PC) or the PC landed in an advantageous position at least.

I still do stuff like this from time to time, happy to embellish the PC's action if the Player put in the effort to make an entertaining moment. I will also add a +1 (or the equivalent) to a PC's chance of Success if the action as described by the player was particularly well thought out or clever. Perhaps throw in a +1 to damage if they figured out an effective way to trap their opponent or gain some other tactical advantage. 

Sorry, I'm getting a bit off topic. The point of all this is I want the players' ideas to have impact on the rolls they make. I want to see creativity and variation what happens as a result of that choice. Sometimes a roll is just a roll but I think its awesome to have the possibility of 'it's a failure but something positive happened' or 'you succeeded but something went wrong'.
I really like the idea of a player saying, "I manage to grab the rope around the crate before the crate falls off the deck of the ship BUT just barely and Great Scott! is this thing heavy! A little help over here?!".

I remember a conversation years ago at GenCon with Bill Smith, then line editor for West End Games' Star Wars D6. He explained the 'Drama Die' or 'Force Die' as we always called it as follows:

You have to jump a chasm. It's Difficulty Number is 15. You need a 15 or better to clear it.

You fail and roll a 1 on the Force Die.
You fall and hit a few outcroppings on the way down.

You fail and the Force Die is nothing special.
You fall.

You fail but get a 6 on the Force Die.
You fall but land on an outcropping not far below. You're hurt but alive.

You succeed with a 1 on the Force Die.
You are barely holding on to the opposite side ledge by the tips of your fingers.

You succeed and the Force Die is nothing special.
You land safely on the other side.

You succeed with a 6 on the Force Die.
You leap high and land solid. You are able to turn quickly and help up your friend hanging by their fingertips.

Succeed with Cost.

Fail with Promise.

Make things interesting. 

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Barking Alien

Yeah, I know I went a little ranty here but this is a big thing to me. I really prefer non-binary Action Resolution mechanics.




Friday, December 19, 2025

31 Questions For Barking Alien - Phase II - Question 11

It's Lights, Camera, Action time with my friend Nick's box office blockbuster of a question...or is an award winning documentary?

Question #11...

What are your thoughts on cinematic gameplay and design vs. simulationist gameplay and design?

I'm going to preface my full answer with a bit of a teaser trailer...all my games are Cinematic games. They all feature Cinematic Gameplay. 

I can't help it. It's baked into the reason I got interested in TRPGs in the first place. At the age of 8 it wasn't my vast knowledge of Sword & Sorcery literature that got me to excited to play as a hero going on adventures and fighting terrible monsters. It was Movies, Television, Animation, and Comic Books. I was raised on The Muppet Show, The Marx Brothers, Mel Brooks, Looney Tunes, Disney films, Star Trek, Star Wars, Superman, The Legion of Superheroes, and a host of other entertainment media that taught me the essentials of Gamemastering; no not rules knowledge silly, the important stuff!

Comedic and dramatic timing, building a scene, cool locations and backdrops, camera angles, sound effects, voice acting, improvisation, and everything that makes a given moment or series of moments in a game exciting and memorable. 

With that out of the way...

My thoughts on the subject kind of go the way of trying to be an 'Emulationist'.

My goal when creating a campaign is to emulate the genre, setting, atmosphere, and particulars of whatever it is I and those I'm gaming with are focused on portraying. 

For example, let's take the American West circa the mid-to-late 19th century. If I were trying to emulate the West as it truly was, if I were doing a realistic portrayal of the era, I would want a Simulationist game. I'd need to track resources, count bullets, have deadly combat, disease rules, etc.

I thin it would require that in order to lean into the brutal and desperate nature of survival in the American wilderness, the cutthroat politics and business of an expanding nation, and the
 tensions between the settlers and the indigenous peoples, etc. 

On the other hand, if I were trying to emulate Wild West movies and TV shows, I would go with a Cinematic system. Something that keeps the feel of the 'Old West' but allows for more dramatic battles and crazy stunts. 

If I were making a 'Bonanza RPG', I would go Cinematic but search for one the specifically modeled the tropes and cliché story beats we saw in that series.

Near future, realistic Science Fiction like the upcoming Pioneer RPG isn't a rollicking Space Opera like Stars Without Number. Nor is Stars Without Number the same sort of rollicking Space Opera the same as Star Trek Adventures. Each of these is its own animal and I am looking for the RPG whose gameplay matches the substance and style of that distinctive and unique animal.

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Barking Alien

I feel the need to acknowledge the deaths of Rob Reiner and his wife Michele.

I grew up watching Rob Reiner as Michael 'Meathead' Stivic on All in the Family. Later, the accomplished comedic actor and director would direct some of my all time favorite films. In addition to his Entertainment Industry accomplishments, Reiner was a good and decent man who warmed the hearts and inspired the minds of those who knew him and appreciated his work.



I didn't expect this particular passing to effect me so but it has.

Rest in Peace.