Welcome to February.
Is it over yet?
February is a pretty crazy month for me. It always is.
It's the month that contains (among other things) my Birthday, my ex-wife's Birthday, my Dad's Birthday, my maternal Grandma's, my former Wedding Anniversary, Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, and The Anniversary of Barking Alien (the blog itself).
It's also traditionally been the month in which we, my various gaming groups and I, have started new, long term games over the years. We always intend to begin in January, but usually it ends up being February for whatever reason.
Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a gaming funk. Not creatively mind you. Oh no, the ideas are coming fast, and furious (but without the cars and with substantially more meaningful plots).
I've reached a realization that I really don't know what to do with. That is, I don't know what to do about it. I am hoping that this month provides me with some kind of clarity.
I feel as if the in-person gaming groups I have are not necessarily conducive to the types of games I want to run. I've actually felt this way for a while now, but kept dismissing the idea as merely brought about by temporary frustrations. I then decided that even if it were truth, there is always a way to overcome any such problem. All it requires is careful analysis, and being more clever than the situation is problematic, or so I thought.
The thing is though, Marvel and DC Comics are pretty much done making the kind of comic books I want to read, and so a while back, I stopped buying comics.
Paramount is done producing a Star Trek I am interested in, or care about, so I'm pretty much done getting excited for new Star Trek products.
Times change, things change, and things fall out of favor.
I think the kind of game I want to run, the feeling I like my games to have, may be things of the past. My preferred kind of game is not longer a viable option, at least not with the gamers I currently interact with.
My old gaming program is not compatible with the most recent operating system.
What to do?
Well, I could continue to try and explain/enforce/push for my preferred style, but I am really tired of that. It is becoming more work than fun, and if it ain't fun, I don't want to bother. One can only push a boulder uphill with banana peels strapped to ones feet for so long before the effort loses its luster.
I could try to game their way, which I sort of did with Traveller, but I found it a little tedious at the end. It seemed like a lot of nothing when it should have been at it's most dramatic, although the grand finale was excellent.
I have one group that's great for short series, and one-shots, but they are less keen on my favorite aspect of gaming - the long term campaign. Where as one group will spend hours, and hours on character development stuff, with little to no action, the other is mostly action, preferring to keep character stuff to a minimum. We've had a little success recently with more 'living in the world' moments, so maybe there's hope.
What does the 'F' stand for when I say The Big F?
February, and a feeling of frustration, and failure that has me in a funk, for sure.