Thursday, March 31, 2011
Cameo #4 - Und noo, Zee Heppy Vheesk
"Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue,
Orn desh, de born desh, de umn,
Bork! Bork! Bork!
(Crash of thrown utensils)
Hedu de hoo! Vercum der me de shoo de keetchee! Und me gust tudu de Heppy Vheesk! Mmm-hmm. Und de Heppy Vheesk ish cook un du Strudiburrbies und du Crem Biskee Skoons. Oo-ooh! Du Strudiburrbies und Crem Biskee Biskee Skoons! Yum!"
The Swedish Chef always makes me laugh and he inspires me to try new ingredients. But sometimes he scares me, too.
"Ooh-oh. Me du scuri? No. Me du no du scuri."
Like the time he wanted to make frog legs using Kermit's nephew. The poor little guy was still alive and screaming, "Help! Uncle Kermit, help!" Good thing Uncle Kermit showed up. Whew. That was a close one.
"Weel du shtum muss ruddin ish boo du shoo. Me du tinkee tinkee!" (Points at his own head)
Then there was the time the Swedish Chef used a shotgun to make holes in doughnuts, a bazooka to make talking pumpkins into pie and a cleaver to decapitate a live turtle. That's some scary stuff.
(Chef puts away the jackhammer he intended to use to mix the ingredients)
"No no. Ish me du cheef. Ish du cheef is du tru jorn de difren tingee du mudensherd goot de meel!"
(Sweats. Dabs forehead with a cloth).
But scary stuff aside, the Swedish Chef cooks with style, never runs from a challenge and always has fun. Just like the time he made bouncy ball meatballs and used a tennis racket to knock them into the audience.
"Aww ya ya! Ishoon der du de booncee-bouncee be de meetee bawls! Heheh. Ood gud ish un datee woond. Muyorn be du hee hee hee."
Say what you will about his muffled speech, messy kitchen and scary cooking - that's one chef who knows how to cook. And, he's never afraid to try new ingredients, even if they're screaming for help.
"Aww, tandu ud de Heppy Vheesk...Ud tinkee."
Strudiburrbies Und Du Crem Biskee Skoons
Biscuits/Scones with Strawberries and Cream
Ivy Shorts (The Happy Whisk)
Preheat oven: 425F, 200C, Gas Mark 6.
Strawberries: I often use frozen berries.
Put them in a bowl with raw sugar and honey.
When they start to defrost, mash and adjust sugar to taste.
Cream: I enjoy making whipped cream with double cream, raw sugar and organic vanilla. But I also buy spray whipped cream from the market. Either will do nicely.
Plain flour (145g)
Good salt (1ml)
Raw sugar (17ml)
Baking powder (7ml)
I’ve used half and half, double cream, almond milk and soy. They all worked well in the dough. I recommend trying them all and picking your favorite.
Organic or good butter (60g)
Steps: Mix all four dry ingredients into a bowl.
Cut butter into pieces. Hand-mash butter into dry mix, leaving some butter chunks. Make a well and add just enough liquid to make dough pliable. About 80ml or so.
Don't add too much liquid.
Once ready, I work the dough on a surface of raw sugar crystals with a bit of flour.
Roll dough to about 2cm thickness and slice into preferred portion size. I make mine a little smaller than the size of my palm.
Place on a sprayed cookie sheet.
Lightly spray tops of biscuits and quickly sprinkle additional sugar crystals on top.
Bake 10 to 15 minutes or until light golden brown. Cool on wire rack.
To Eat: Fork split the biscuit/scones and cover with berries and cream and eat. Or, if you’re me, show your husband, but refuse to let him eat it until you’ve snapped just the right shot.