Questions From An Askew Point of View - Part 1

I have recently been thinking a lot about the differences and difficulties I encounter when I compare my particular style of GMing to those of other GMs.

Now since the pick-nitty nitpickers live to pick apart any statement made, I will try to clarify. When I say compare I may not be using precisely the right word. I am not comparing as in which one is better than the other. Rather, I am noting how a lot of people use approach A, a smaller group uses approach B and myself and a few others use C for example.

This has lead me to create a series of questions that, hopefully, will enable me to better understand my fellow gamer. These questions will only pop up from time to time so I can get on with other things. Consider them an irregular regular feature.

The first is A Question of Time...

I noted in another post how many people seem to focus their sessions on one or perhaps two elements. For example, 'this is a combat heavy session' or 'we mostly role played last adventure'.

Now as I understand it, and correct me if I am wrong, most gaming groups today have sessions lasting roughly 4 hours or so. If this is true it goes part of the way toward answering my questions about time and time management but not quite all the way.

OK, so assuming you have a party of 3-6 PCs, a total of 3-5 NPCs and 4 hours in which to participate in an adventure, how many battles can you expect to have? Note that I mean separate battles with separate initiative, a new series of rounds, etc.

Assuming the same criteria, how many rooms of a dungeon would you see explored by PCs on average (regardless of combat encounters and such).

If the session is sort of focused on one thing, as in the aforementioned examples of a combat heavy session, a role play heavy session, an investigative session, etc., is it planned out that way by the GM or does it just end up happening?

In a way, all this boils down to a bigger question of 'How much gets done' or 'How much stuff happens' in a single session. I am very curious about this. I have watched other GMs do their thing, obviously played in a number of adventures and campaigns by different GMs (though granted not many) and read through numerous session recaps. I'm trying to get a better sense of how the hobby uses this most precious resource...time.

I will save my own opinions on the subject for after I have received some responses.

Thanks all,

AD
Barking Alien

MEGA MUPPET MONDAY!!! Act II - Part 2

Clifford sees Kermit and tells him about what's going on with NAASO and the MIB. Kermit is a little freaked out and asks when NAASO called. Clifford says it was like an hour ago but he didn't want to harsh Kermit's mellow. The show seemed to be going so well.

Rowlf does a quick humorous song interlude (actually I did this. I wanted to lightened the manic pace and have a favorite Rowlf song I figured would work. I'm also working hard to improve my Rowlf impression).

Sam does a lone editorial on the danger proposed by the presence of aliens. It appears he misunderstood Master Chief and thought he was referring to illegal aliens from Mexico, Cambodia and other filthy foreign countries. Like Canada. Master Chief fires Sam from his inner circle.

Pepe tells Master Chief everything is ready. He and Rizzo got armor, weapons and everything else the Chief needs. Master Chief tells them thanks but it seems like he was wrong. The Chief apologizes to Kermit for the huge misunderstanding. He can't wait to let loose, relax and join them in their closing number.

When Kermit confronts Pepe and Rizzo about all the weird armor, laser guns and such that they have, the pair quickly comes up with the story that these are just props. Kermit thinks they're perfect for the closing number then. Pepe and Rizzo nod and 'smile' as Kermit leaves and then look at each other in panic.

The closing number gets set up. The band is in position. Pepe and Rizzo handle the 'props'. Crazy Harry is handling the lighting, sound and special effects (oh yeah). Pigs, Penguins and Chickens put on costumes. Beau and Sweetums use their combined super strength to lift part of the Muppet Theater to get the closing number set on stage.

Kermit introduces the closing number.

I describe a drop ship descending toward the planet below. Serious Traveller style stuff here. The vessel shudders as it goes through the clouds. An interior shot shows most of the Pigs and some Chickens wearing Star Wars Stormtrooper armor (Pepe: "Hey, it was cheap, okay."). The Penguins and some Pigs are still dressed as ancient Spartans. Master Chief is there. Gonzo is wearing Boba Fett/Mandalorian armor with a Gears of War suit over it.

I start to snap my fingers and sing...

Somebody's gonna hurt someone,
before the night is through.
Somebody's gonna come undone.
There's nothin' we can do.
Everybody wants to touch somebody,

(at which point I punch my fist into my palm to emphasize 'touch')

if it takes all night.
Everybody wants to take a little chance,
Make it come out right.

There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
a heartache tonight, I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight, I know.
Lord, I know.


Backstage, Kermit, Clifford, Scooter and several other Muppets are watching and having a great time. Kermit can't believe how well staged this production is.

Suddenly, two MIB Muppets come up to Kermit and Clifford to ask if they're in charge. Unlike the first two Muppets in Black, these guys look like 'Human' Muppets(think Waldorf or the Newsman). One of the MIB's (Smith - of Smith and Jones - wink, wink) is the guy Clifford originally spoke to on the phone from NAASO. They believe their are aliens impersonating them. This begins one of the funniest exchanges of the game...


MIB: Have you seen anyone strange, odd, unusual?
Clifford: Seriously?
Kermit: Can you be more specific?
MIB: Someone who acts in a bizarre manner.
(Lew Zealand hurries by practicing his Boomerang Fish Act).
Scooter: Bizarre in what sense?
MIB: Someone who looks frightening or speaks in an unintelligible dialect.
(Swedish Chef walks by discussing...something...with Big Mean Carl).
Scooter: I'm just not following you.


Meanwhile, the camera cuts to Crazy Harry who proceeds to light a really, really long fuse. The fuse is connected to a cartoon 'cannonball' bomb which is in turn wired to several clutches of dynamite sticks, which are connected to a mess of C4, that surround a cold war era, rust cover nuclear missile.

Yep.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
Lord I know.

Back on stage the drop ship lands and all the occupants spill out. In the distance ("Anyone ever notice the Muppet Show stage is kinda like the Holodeck?"), a bright flash beams a dozen or so aliens down of all shapes and sizes. The largest three are full-body Muppets the height of Sweetums. The 'leader' is a furry, blue, turtle like thing. The other two resemble an bug/aardvark hybrid and a fish guy. They fire ray guns into the air and charge at Master Chief and company.

Just then...the escape pod from the Pigs in Space sequence crashes down in the middle of the set. Strangepork is dazed but Link sees his chance to shine. He quickly changes costume to that of King Leonidas (or as Erin Palette suggested, 'Pigonidas'). He takes command of the unit of Spartan Pigs, Chickens, etc. He attacks the aliens! Or...so it seems...

There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
the moon's shinin' bright
so turn out the light, and we'll get it right.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight, a
heartache tonight I know.
Heartache baby,

Penguins battle aliens. Alien defend themselves against Stormtrooper Chickens. Master Chief is blasting away at the opposition. Persian Cats join the fight but since they're Persian they attack the Spartans.

Beau finds the lit fuse and thinks it might be dangerous so he picks up a sink full of water and tries to put it out. Animal, thirsty from playing on stage, drink the water as it's poured.

Somebody's gonna hurt someone, (somebody)
Before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone,
There's nothin' we can do
(Everybody) Everybody wants to touch somebody
if it takes all night
Everybody wants to take a little chance
To make it come out right

Link interjects and changes the words to...

There's gonna be a Hogthrob tonight
A Hogthrob tonight, I know
There's gonna be a Hogthrob tonight,
A Hogthrob tonight ,I know
Let's go.

Link storms off stage, heads backstage and demands from Kermit that he be given higher billing based on his performance in this episode (Brilliant move by Link's Player. Didn't see it coming). Link uses his 'Inflated Ego' and spends a Star in an attempt to Upstage Kermit. Kermit (me) responds with 'Eye of the Storm' in order to remain calm. Scooter pops in to aid Kermit, the player working with Kermit using his Shtick 'Right Hand Man'. We roll. Three way tie!!! Who's got the most Star Power...Kermit The Frog baby! But I was so impressed I said (starting in an angry voice and then calming to normal), "LINK!...I'll consider it. As long as you finish the...your closing number."

Link was so happy (hilarious performance by the Player who described Link nodding yes and then skipping back on stage like a happy child).

We can beat around the bushes;
we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin' lot,
but either way, there's gonna be a
heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know.
There'll be a heartache tonight
a heartache tonight I know.

Lew Zealand, dashing across the battlefield, tossing Boomerang fish hither and yon, spots the large fish guy alien and decides to communicate with him (Lew can talk to fish). "OK you! Why are attacking us and stuff. Mr. The Frog is not gonna like it."

"Attacking? Who's attacking. We came all the way here from the planet Koozbane to get Master Chief's autograph. We love that guy. HALO rules!"

Hey, do you smell something burn...

KRAKA-TA-BOOOM!

Crazy Harry pyrotechnic masterpiece blows the Muppet Theater away. Smoke, flames, debris, props, scenery and Muppets are everywhere. Sweetums tries to catch the smaller Muppets as they fall back to Earth. Big Mean Carl tries to eat the smaller Muppets as they fall back to Earth. Sweetums catches Bean Bunny and throw him over to Carl.

The show closes with Bunsen spraying everyone with his latest invention Anti-Radiationizing Foam (which comes in Orange, Grape, Lemon and standard Vanilla). Kermit thanks Master Chief for being on the show, I thank everyone for participating in the game and we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.The actual final lines were a quip delievered by Waldorf and Statler.

BEST GAME EVER!

AD
Barking Alien

MEGA MUPPET MONDAY!!! Act II - Part 1

In continuing my recap of the first ever actual running of my Muppets RPG in it's current form, I realize that a lot, no...A LOT...of stuff happened.

The game was scheduled from 12-4 pm and I actually taught the rules to the group and gave out the pre-gens in the 15 minutes or so before we got started. After that I took some time to clarify the rules and answer questions (there really weren't many). Following the Q&A I ran the game from 12:15 to about 3 pm. Even with an hour to BS afterward we used each and every one of the 28 Muppet characters at least once, performed at least four sketches, three or four skits (short sketches), went backstage (or to some other non-stage location of the Muppet Theater) five times, did three or four songs and blew up the whole damn Theater in that time.

Uh-oh...mini-rant coming...I mean, I don't get how people can run a four hour session and recap with, "So we spent this session talking to some Yak Farmers..." or some such non-sense. What?! How much could you possibly say to or hear from Yak Farmers? Get the *#$%ing milk and move on ya git. Sorry. More on that in an upcoming post.

Anyway, it would take me another three entries to tell the tale the way I did in the first to entries so I'll give you the 'PLAYBILL' highlights...

Following the opening sketch (Muppet Labs), we go backstage where Master Chief tries to convince Kermit that the Muppet Theater is going to be invaded by aliens. Kermit assures him he's mistaken and it's just a variety show. First mention of Master Chief looking to form a team to fight off the aliens. Needs to find Spartan Armor to equip allies.

Veterinarian's Hospital goes on. The sketch is in danger of falling flat when both Rowlf's Player and Piggy's Player brainfart and can't think of any good puns. Janice's Player saves the sketch and adds a new rule to the game. If a sketch is dying, one of its participants can call 'Meanwhile...Backstage' (or '...In The Cafeteria', or '...in The Guest's Dressing Room') and the same players on-stage can switch to different characters backstage.

This was used to great effect as Pepe manages to get 'Spartan' armor for Master Chief. Y'know. Like from '300'. A host of Pigs and Penguins come in wearing it. Master Chief tells him he needs something better for his troops. Something like what he's wearing. Pepe and Rizzo team up to get the good stuff. At the same time, Master Chief mistakes Sam the Eagle's pompous patriotism for military experience, assuming him to be a retired soldier of some kind. Master Chief recruits Sam to his team.

We return to the sketch with the stipulation that the situation on stage must have changed dramatically since last we saw it. The idea is to forward the sketch but moreover to give everyone the impression that they missed something while viewing the antics backstage. The sketch still ends a tad weak but Statler and Waldorf zing it to end on a high note.

Gonzo and Johnny Fiama perform 'One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple, People Eater' with Sal and Gonzo having convinced Johnny to dress up in the title role. Johnny is not amused. The group was.

In Master Chief dressing room, the Chief meets with his inner circle, Sam, Link and Scooter. Plans are underway.

Clifford gets a phone call from NAASO (Pronounced Nah-So, like "No. So what?"), the National Anti-Alien Security Organization. They warn him about strange lights in the sky over the Muppet Theater and the possibility of a close encounter. They are sending agents over to help. Clifford takes in all in stride like it's no big thing.

The Swedish Chef attempts to make Possum Stew...sorry...Poossem Stoo but the Possum turns the tables on him and it looks like we might be having Chef stuff tonight! Best use of a skill/prop combo...Use Kitchen Utensil with an industrial Sledge Hammer.

Two strange looking Muppets in black suits, coats, hats and sunglasses show up at the backstage door. They meet with Pops (as an NPC) and Clifford. They are MIB...Muppets in Black. They are aware that aliens are indeed on their way and want to speak to Master Chief. Cliff assumes they're from NAASO. They look at each other and nod. "Sure".

Pigs in Spaaace! Link, Julius Strangepork and Piggy see a strange alien vessel approaching and call their newest crewmember, combat specialist Master Chief to the stage. Master Chief thinks they are finally taking his warning seriously and gets all macho, gung-ho scary on them. Link and Strangepork panic and eject from the SwineTrek in the escape pod. Piggy asks if there is a Mrs. Chief somewhere or are we free and clear?

To be concluded...

AD
Barking Alien

Intermission Impossible

My recent lack of posts has been due, largely, to my being pretty damn sick and having a work and personal life schedule that doesn't leave me much time to relax and get well. My motto is 'Keep on Keeping On'. I also like 'Make Love, Not War' and the British 'Keep Calm and Carry On'.

It's nice to see the Barkkers/Barkkies debate rages on and in regards to the Barkettes, sorry gentlemen, you just don't have the legs for it.

Now, about my summer job...

So far it looks like 6-8 kids are signed up ranging from 2nd to 7th grade. The majority are 5th to 7th graders with only one younger lad, the kid brother of our oldest student. The sessions are roughly 3 hours long each, which isn't a lot of time but you'd be surprised. I can get a lot done in three hours.*

I'm going to be running a hackneyed version of D&D with the following elements customized for the task at hand:

Ability Scores: As mentioned in my last post, standard six rated 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and 0 by Player's choice. The number will standard for how much you add to a D20 roll to do pretty much anything. Skill Use, To Hit, Saving Throws, etc. Need to lift a heavy load? Roll D20 plus Strength. Want to figure out what the runes say? Roll D20 plus Intelligence. Want to hit that Bugbear with your sword? Roll D20 plus Strength plus...ah...over to my D&D-But-Not system.

Combat Types (Fighter, Paladin, Ranger, etc.) Hit at Level Plus 1
Quasi-Combat Types (Cleric, Bard, Rogue) Hit at Level.
Non-Combat Types (Wizard, Druid, Sorcerer) Hit at Level -1.

Which classes qualify as which? Should be easy but I'll make final decisions later.

"But wait! I want to be a BattleMage! Yeah!"

Sure. Quasi. Next?

OK, Hit Points. Everyone has 10 plus Constitution plus/minus 1 based on class just like the To Hit. Why make a new chart? I know, I know. You guys like charts. *shudder*

Ever character gets a free ability based on their class. Wizards get Spells, Clerics can use Miracles (Cleric Spells), Druids Shapeshift (turn into animals), Warriors will get some kind of Mighty Blow/Strike thing, Rogues get Stealth, etc.

Then (and this brilliant little piece of awesome was created by my ex-wife, gaming goddess extraordinaire!), you write on your sheet..
.
I am Really Good at __________.
I am Really Bad at __________.

Is that awesome or what?! We tested it this past Sunday. The Paladin was incredibly fast (I am Really Good at Speed) but he couldn't read (I am Really Bad at Reading). Hilarity ensued when he began searching a shipwreck for treasure and realized he could read the signs on the doors like 'Captain's Quarters' or 'Cargo Hold'.

OK...and...that's about all the rules I need. Seriously, why the frick-dang-blast are all these books over 10 pages? I mean what the heck is all that writing about? ;)

Anyway, still working on a few details and checking with Selina (my ex-wife) as she may want to include some additional rules and systems to get the kids used to following instructions, following rules, reading rules and comprehending what they've read and that sort of thing.

Still and all, it doesn't really need to have more than that.

Which brings me to...

Once again the world of other peoples game has brushed up against mine and my golden retriever like curiousity has me sniffing about to find out how the other half lives. I plan on making a post that addresses some questions I have about how other people run certain aspects of their games, though mostly this is directed at D&D players and Old Schoolers, anyone and everyone is welcome to pop in and share.

Look forward to our exchange,

AD
Barking Alien

*One of the questions will deal with how much time one session takes and what you get done in a session. After talking about my Muppet Show game with one of the players who participated in it and a recent post on another blog has me really curious about time, content and maximizing both.

Intermission on a Mission

Howdy Barking Alien Fans! (Yes the six of you. Do you prefer 'Barkkies' or 'Barkkers'? I forget which is in at the moment).

I have been sick as a green dog of late and because of this, I am pretty behind on my posting. I will continue my recap of the RECESS Muppet Show RPG Session as soon as I am feeling a bit better but first...

R.I.P. to Gene Colan, a legend in the comic book industry and a professor of mine in college. We didn't always agree but I always had an appreciation and respect for the man, his art and his impact on the medium.

Sadly, another R.I.P. is sent out to Peter Falk, the actor best known for his portrayal of the TV detective Columbo but better known to fandom for his part as the narrator in The Princess Bride.

In two weeks I will begin GMing professionally. That is, I've been hired by a learning center in Brooklyn to run an RPG each Sunday as part of their 'Summer Fun' program. The players range from 3rd to 7th graders and the sessions will be about 3 hours long. It looks like there will be about 6-8 kids in the program at present. I'm really excited. A few of these kids are 'English as a Second Language' students, speaking Chinese at home. A few are simply a little behind on their reading and writing comprehension. In addition to having a great time gaming, some of the game elements will be geared toward teaching cooperation, information retention, improving math skills and the like.

System wise I've been talking to my ex-wife (who runs the center) and she and I have hashed out what I would call an 'Old School Minimalist' set of rules. We're keeping the classic 6 stats but they're rated 0-5. When you do something you check against the appropriate stat to see what bonus if any you add to your die roll.

So if the Wizard has Strength: 4, Intelligence: 5, Wisdom: 3, Dexterity: 2, Constitution: 1 and Charisma: 0, he or she adds nothing to a D20 roll when attempting to befriend of a local guard. On the other hand, the Wizard may add +5 to any roll involving casting a spell or trying to remember a local legend.

I've got some time to work out the additional details. I'll keep you posted.

News of DC's September relaunch continues to depress and befuddle me, though I must say the art for All-Star Western #1 featuring Jonah Hex looks pretty damn good. As does Keith Giffen pulling a Jack Kirby riff on OMAC #1. If nothing else I'll check out those two.

Well, that's all the time and energy I have at the moment. What I wouldn't give to be well enough to drink a cup of coffee. Ugh. I miss my coffee.

Later Days,

AD
Barking Alien