Sunday, February 13, 2011

He's A Cosmic Mutha...Shut Yo Mouth!

Today I ran a one-shot adventure designed to shake the getting-older and not-gaming-enough blues. Four magic words...

Blaxploitation Sword and Planet.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, at the risk of being denied the right to celebrate Black History Month for the next decade, my group and I decided to delve into the thrilling and incredibly groovy adventures of that funky space ranger...Supernova Brown.

You know how the narrator opens every episode... so don't be a jive turkey and say it with me...

Children gather round,
We're gonna hear a story now,
About the baddest cat in town
And how he was lifted off the ground.

He was brought into the sky
by a funky beam of light.
He sailed up through the clouds
And on into the night.

He travelled past the stars,
Flew past Jupiter and Mars
And when he finally touched down
There were spacemen all around.

Up walked a strong and pretty lady,
Whose hands were kinda shaky.

She said, "We don't wish to bow down,
Can you help us now?"

He said, "Don't you worry sweet space baby...
I'm Supernova Brown."

Imagine a cross between Shaft and Adam Strange. Picture the Flash Gordon serials from the 1930's and 40's created in the 1970's and staring Tamara Dobson and Jim Brown.

Our story goes something like this...

Sometime in the early 70's, Professor Winston Tycho invents a device the transports him, his assistant Poindexter Humperdink, his daughter Mira Sunshine Tycho and his mysterious and sexy female bodyguard Vulpurra to a distant planet orbiting the star Rigel. The transporter beam damaged, the group is unable to return to Earth.

Not long after their arrival, the team learns that the native people of Rigel are constantly being besieged by invading insectoid aliens from Betelgeuse. The Earthlings try to help the Rigellians but it only doubles the efforts of the Bugmen of Betelgeuse, especially after they learn of Prof. Tycho's Translocationizer Beam.

Battles between Rigel and Betelgeuse are only barely a stalemate, with Betelgeuse sure to win eventually, when the Rigellians offer to add their mysticism to Tycho's technology. The Translocationizer comes to life and fires beams across the galaxy, searching for a champion destined to defeat the bad ass Bugmen of Betelgeuse.

The beam finds its mark in downtown Detroit in the form of a womanizing, hard-living, hero for hire by the name of Irving 'Supernova' Brown. With smarts from books and life lessons learned in the school of hard knocks, Supernova Brown is just the man to put those pests from Betelgeuse in their place. That place is often under his boot or at the end of his Oscillating Deciminator Pistol.

Today's episode saw Supernova and the gang going down over Betelgeuse II while on a spy mission to discover the source of the Bugmen's newest weapon. Yes fans, the Soul Flyer, Brown's purple starship with silver trim, had been hit by enemy fire, though they managed to destroy the Betelgeusen gunship that clipped them.

Even with a ruined Aetheric Stabilizer and reduced power, The Soul Flyer (whose AI sounded like Barry White) was brought to a relatively safe landing by young genius Poindexter Humperdink. The area of the planet they were in appeared to be some sort of tropical jungle. Supernova and Vulpurra went outside the ship to check out their surroundings and discovered the ship being watched by strange Pygmy Bugmen. Fearing the large aliens and their craft, the Pygmy Bugmen attacked and then quickly ran into the jungle. Supernova and Vulpurra gave chase, caught up with them and sweet talked the little fellas into helping the team out.

Turns out the Pygmies are constantly getting bullied by the bad ass Bugmen of Betelgeuse Prime (IV). The larger Bug brethren regularly steal resources from their smaller cousins and the tiny green dudes are sick of it. They've heard about the Rigellians and the heroic alien who helps them named Supernova Brown. The Pygmy Bugmen decide to help the Earth people get a replacement Aetheric Stabilizer and get off the planet if they'll put a dent in big Betelgeusen operations on their world. Supernova Brown can't resist a cry for help anymore than he can resist the smooth taste of Colt 45. Works every time.

We'll be back with more funky fly space action after these messages...

Barking Alien



  2. "Get between this brother and his woman and space ain't black enough to hide from him."


    That is the shiznit.

  3. I don't know if you're a genius or a madman. I'm willing to go 60-40 on that.

  4. One of my players came up with a Blaxploitation-inspired halfling dinosaur rider in my infrequent Eberron game. He was called Galaxy Jones, which is just weird.

  5. @Trey - Why thank you. Mostly. ;)

    @Kelvingreen - I read about that. I love that guy! He sounds awesome.

  6. Just the kind of game I adore.

    Years and years ago, I wrote a "Blaxploitation Champions for the Haymaker fanzine. If I can find my file, I'll shoot you a copy.