Friday, March 18, 2011

The Land of Gorch - I Got You Babe

"Psst. Adam. Pssst.""Who's that...I...SCRED?!"
"Yeah. Can I come out and talk to you?"
"Wow. Yeah, sure buddy come on out."

"Thanks. I just wanted to say, on behalf of the Gorch Muppets, we appreciate this thing you're doing here. It's really nice be remembered and recognized."

"Aww Scred. Listen pal, I'm sure you'll get your day in the sun soon. I mean, there's a new Muppet motion picture coming up, Sesame Street is still going strong and Cookie Monster even sang with Jeff Bridges on Saturday Night Live. It's just a matter of time before..."


"What what? About Cookie Monster on SNL? Yeah, he sang with Jeff Bridges during a Christmas episode."

"I see. How nice for him. Would you excuse me I have an errand to run."

(Hefts a large club with spikes in it and walks off muttering to himself...)

"Hmm...hope he doesn't do anything rash. Oh well... "


First a note I should've made before...

In a Land of Gorch game, I recommend only one character per player, unlike a typical Muppets RPG. The cast was smaller and the setting more specific. Also it helps give the impression that there isn't much life out there in this barren badland dump your characters call home.

All characters are also Customs. The techniques used to build these Muppets are too elaborate to waste on Whatnots.


Routines are less about the Routine and more about the Relationships in a Land of Gorch game. A character would be able to say 'Consider My Appeal' as opposed to 'Hold Your Applause' and then receive an Exploding Die when interacting with specific characters in specific, preset ways.

For example:
King Ploobis is the husband of Queen Peuta, father of Wisss and secretly lusts after Vazh. Well, it's a secret to Peuta anyway.

If Ploobis wants to make a move on Vazh but it's possible Peuta isn't too far away, he can have the table 'Consider My Appeal' and then an Exploding Die in his attempts to seduce Vazh or avoid detection. Now he's taking a risk of being found out and losing a 'Stay' at the close of the session (Peuta will be furious!) and in a way endangering Vazh as Peuta could vote her off instead! Queens so wronged can be very vengeful.

So Routines become Relationships in Gorch. If you wanted to stretch the meaning, which would be in keeping with the themes of the setting, you could use Relationships to illustrate addictions. That is, instead of a Relationship with a character, your PC could have a 'Relationship' with a thing or a substance like money, booze or craters.

Wisss is a 'Crater Head' and enjoys getting wasted by sticking his head into smoking craters and breathing in the noxious vapors. If this is important to the character maybe (Director and Player should discuss the option) he can hold off on getting Appeal and get an Exploding Die to hide his nasty habit from his mom and dad (Peuta and Ploobis) or his pal Scred.

OK. That's it for Gorch for now. I hope you've enjoyed this little Muppets RPG variant and consider checking out the SNL episodes featuring this nearly forgotten phase of Henson's genius. See you round the tar pits.

Barking Alien

Muppet Quotes

King Ploobis: Well, it's, uh... looks like the first draft of a letter to Lily Tomlin!

[ Peuta pops up from the crater and reads the letter over Ploobis' shoulder.]

King Ploobis: It says: "Dear Lily Tomlin: I have watched with enchantment your beautiful image, when I can sneak away from my loathsome, degrading, filthy job."

[ Peuta gasps.]

Peuta: Read on, read on.

King Ploobis: Yes. It says: "mi amore enchante, je t'aime, je t'aime." Hunnhh. It says: "PS, Be mine tonight, your slave in love, Scred." And then down at the bottom, it says, "PS, X X X X."

Peuta: Oh! He's in love with Lily Tomlin!

King Ploobis: Grrrunnhh. She has my sympathies.

Here's A Muppet News Flash!

The rose presented to the beautiful and talented Lily Tomlin (I too am a big fan) by way of Scred was actually an unrehearsed surprise gesture from Scred's performer, the amazing Jerry Nelson. You know Jerry as the performer for Floyd Pepper, Julius Strangepork, Sesame Street's Count Von Count, Fraggle Rock's Gobo Fraggle and many others


  1. It sounds like you could adapt the mechanics set out here to a Pigs-in-Space-type game set on a derelict. If you don't do well, you can get spaced, and if the repairs don't get made, then the ship blows up.

  2. Not a bad idea. Actually,

    Let's say the new and 'improved' Swinetrek is a prototype that, well, they didn't really have time to work all the bugs out of.

    You could be constantly trying to keep the ship from falling apart while trying to do your missions.

    In many of the Pigs in Space sketches, systems malfunctioned or didn't work properly. Heck, the Enterprise-D constantly seemed to have maintenance issues and that was the flagship of the fleet!

    Great addition C'nor.

  3. I am such a fan of Scred. I thought I'd never see him again, so thanks for this site. He was such a cutie with the most expressive eyes. And I loved his duets- he deserved some loving, especially since Ploobus beat up on him all the time. I wish they had made a doll of him- I would have loved one. We just bought an SNL 1st Season DVD, & that was what I looked most forward to seeing again- good times! ps- hOW DO YOU SPELL THE mIGHTY Favaad?
    Love & stuff- Jody Snyder (

  4. So glad you found my site Jody! When it comes to fans of the Muppets in general and the Land of Gorch Muppets in particular, the more the merrier I always say.

    Incidentally, the character you mention is 'The Mighty Favog'.