Monday, March 14, 2011

Pigs in Spaaace!

Pigs in Space!

I have been waiting three years, that is, the entire life of this blog, to title a post 'Pigs in Space'. I am not kidding. I'm tearing up over here.

Pigs in Space.

It's the Muppets. It's Star Trek. It's Muppet Star Trek


OK, while we try to get my disintegrated best bud into a reintegrator, I, your old pal, cosmic connoisseur and intergalactic diplomat extraordinaire, Bartholomew B. Barkley will guide you through the continuing, thrilling adventures of the Starship Swinetrek...

Why does a Muppets TV series have to be based around the Muppet Theater and putting on a Muppet Show. It doesn't. I know what Adam said before but the truth is these guys are professional actors capable of playing ongoing parts...

"Why thank you Barkley. It's always wonderful to have someone recognize my commanding presence and talent along with my handsomeness."

...for which they've already been typecast, so the harm has been done.

"MmYes, I...Wha?"

Might as well make the best of it.

Now for the best of it, look no further than Pigs in Space.

Imagine this as a set up for an ongoing Muppets RPG campaign...

Pigs in Space: The Next Germination
PCs are all members of the all new, upgraded, USS Swinetrek. USS stands for United Swine Ship in my mind. The vast majority of the crew are pigs with the classic command team of the narcissistic Captain Link Hogthrob, the obsessional First Mate Piggy and grandiloquent Dr. Julius Strangepork still in charge of the mission.

However, Adam had some ideas for adding new crewmembers and expanding the bridge slightly. Maybe they could modernize it a tad without going overboard. You'd want to keep it just a bit tacky and B-movie looking to get the right atmosphere.

Each session would be approached like a session of Star Trek, Starships and Spacemen, Star Frontiers or similar Sci-Fi RPG game. As a matter of fact, giving any of these games the Pigs in Space twist would probably be hilarious. I'm thinking one part Muppets RPG, one part Galaxy Quest or Red Dwarf.

The Director, in the form of the omnipresent Announcer, would introduce the adventure, often already in progress. For example, the Announcer might say, "When we last left the Swinetrek, Dr. Strangepork's latest invention has attracted a group of strange Anomalies." The dialog assumes this has already occurred even though this is the beginning of the game and has no bearing on the previous adventure. Strangepork's Performer (Player) should then tell the group what he's invented.

Other characters, Player or Non-Player, could include the command crew of other ships, enemy or allied aliens and perhaps other crew members who are normally 'below deck'. In traditional sci-fi space adventure fashion a token alien or two among the many pig crewmembers would be fun. I think it would even work to have a dog, bear, rat or other animal as long as there aren't too many of them.

Of course a good portion of the sessions would have to revolve around the Muppets' favorite alien planet, Koozebane. Home of the shapeshifting Koozebanian Phoob, the liquid life form known as the Spooble and the mischievous Merdlidops, this place is crawling with strange aliens and potential adventure. Why, it's even possible the SwineFleet now has diplomatic ties with or a permanent base on this wacky, weird world.

I'm thinking of popping over to Koozebane for breakfast. I hear the Phoob is delicious.

Tune in next time for another amazing episode of...Pigs in Spaaace!

Barking Alien

Muppet Quotes

First Mate Piggy: [Link's mind in her body] Wha - ? But this is terrible, I can't live my life being you.
Link Hogthrob: [Piggy's mind in his body] You think you've got troubles!
First Mate Piggy: I can't captain the Swinetrek looking like this, though I am kind of cute.
Link Hogthrob: Hey, don't you dare touch you!

Announcer: Is this the end of Pigs in Space?
Crowd: YES!
Announcer: Tune in Next Week when...
Crowd: NO!
Announcer: All right, then don't. See if I care.

Here's A Muppet News Flash!

Something we never saw in the original Muppet Show sketches was 'the rest of the fleet' but there must be a SwineFleet Command or SwineFleet Mission Control. I like the latter name better for some reason.

My apologizes to IX for the liberties taken with the incredibly cool image of a space suited astronaut I found on that blog. I don't know why but the moment I saw it I heard Link Hogthrob's voice saying, "By Golly, it's full of those little twinkley things."



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